sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
