I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
