I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
