I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
