She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
