My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
