I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
