I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
