I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
