a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i think i just lost a toe
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
