you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
