I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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