K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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