Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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