I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
