I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
