I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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