I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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