he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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