I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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