all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
