My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
