You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
