Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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