fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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