Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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