ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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