TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
