Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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