We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
my liver is dry heaving
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
