it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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