I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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