Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
