Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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