And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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