I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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