We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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