We're like a lot better than the average bears
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
