And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
