school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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