told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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