You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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