Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
