8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
