Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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