why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
