He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We just shotgunned beers for America
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
