It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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