i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
