When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
