Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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